tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-162274952024-03-12T21:15:31.712-07:00The Southern Belle Sounds OffAuthor Loraine Despres will give you short takes on love, life's little ironies, and the world as she moves through it, with detours including how to attract men and keep them happy. That's easy. Writing, that's harder. The writer's life, that one is the hardest of all.Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.comBlogger184125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-55408587106832063912015-02-27T16:11:00.000-08:002015-02-27T16:11:28.422-08:00The Southern Belle Has a BirthdayYesterday was my birthday. <div>
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Many of my friends find their birthdays painful. Not me. I love birthdays. It means I made it another year. <div>
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I got to see the world change. </div>
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And I'm still here. <div>
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Of course I was prettier when I was 20. But I didn't think I was. I wanted so much more. Sure I had a 22 inch waist, but my ankles weren't small enough, my nose was too big, etc. etc. Now, of course I'd love to have that 22 inch waist.</div>
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What I've learned is beauty is great, but it doesn't make you happy.</div>
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I'm much happier now than I was at 20. I have a home, a husband I adore, who loves me, and a son who is successful in a career he enjoys and a nephew and niece who are like my own children. I get to write what I like and I feel great. </div>
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When I left my first husband, he wrote me a letter saying my youth was over and besides I had asthma and a bad back. </div>
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I was in my 20s. Now, beside writing, I swim, I hike, I practice yoga (including flying yoga) and this year I got a kayaking certificate from UCLA. </div>
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And I'm still here.</div>
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So I embrace my birthday and look forward to what the year will bring.</div>
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Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-2985878449491870162014-11-17T19:49:00.000-08:002014-11-17T19:49:23.825-08:00Why I Write<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My husband and I had had a good year and decided to go to Africa on a photographic safari. At the Mt. Kenya Safari Club we met an Englishman, who turned out to be the transport king of Uganda, running trucks between Kampala and Mombasa. The problem was there was a revolution in Uganda and the soldiers would kill you for your shoes. After telling us about his life he asked, "And what do you do?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"We're writers," I said. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He looked at us with horror. "But isn't that a chancy occupation?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is. But it's what I do.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I wrote my first novel in </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6th grade: 48 handwritten</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> pages about pirates. The reviews were unanimous: "The child needs her head examined."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After graduating from Northwestern with a BS in theater (appropriate) I started writing radio plays for WBEZ, at that time it was the radio station of the Chicago Public Schools. From there I went into advertising in Chicago and then in Paris. I was doing well and making a "grande salaire," </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but my three-year-old was unhappy, so we moved back to New Orleans, where we "lived on air " as the French say and where I wrote an unpublishable novel. But it was there I met a screenwriter and decided to go to Hollywood and break into show business. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We wrote two unproduceable screenplays together,before he returned to New Orleans. But I stayed, still "living on air" supporting myself and my son writing a little advertising, industrial films, and journalism. In those days, the late 70s, there were very few women working behind the camera, but I persisted and after a very few years earned enough to buy a house in Malibu. I wrote for many shows, but am best remembered for writing that icon of pop culture: "Who Done It?" the <b>WHO SHOT J.R.?</b> episode of <i>Dallas.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wrote pilots, movies of the week, feature films and even soap operas and was still getting assignments when I decided I had to stop to fulfill a life-long ambition. I wanted to write a novel imbued with my own cynical humor, a love story set in the South at the beginning of the Civil Rights Movement. I lived with my imaginary friends for three years until, <strong>The Scandalous Summer of Sissy LeBlanc </strong>was born. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It took a while to find a publisher, but when William Morrow/HarperCollins had the good sense to bring it out, it became a Literary Guild Selection, a Barnes and Noble Great New Writers Pick, and a National Best Seller. It engendered, "<strong>The Southern Belle's Handbook</strong>, <strong>Sissy LeBlanc's Rules to Live By</strong>." And after years of research, William Morrow published <strong>The Bad Behavior of Belle Cantrell</strong> set in 1920, the year prohibition came in, women got the vote, and the Ku Klux Klan sent salesmen to little towns all over America as a money making pyramid scheme<strong>.</strong></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Englishman in Kenya was right. Writing is a chancy profession. But here's what I tell students: "Imagine you could scrape by as a writer - we all need to eat and pay rent. Now imagine you could make a million dollars selling real estate." If the million dollars is what you want, real estate is a good bet. But if you long to be an artist spending hours alone in a room with your imaginary friends and making a million dollars any other way seems meaningless. Then you are a writer. You must write.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Robert Graves said, </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"There's no money in poetry, but there's no poetry in money."</b><br />
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<br />Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-44613592939059718552014-05-17T14:55:00.000-07:002014-05-17T14:55:46.471-07:00Rule #103: THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK <span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-4df52816-0c2f-15e5-8ece-35b6425d072a"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You can’t hold on to a dead relationship, but remember what Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “When half-gods go /The gods arrive.” Rule #103: THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK </span></span><br />
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Buy THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK On Amazon: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Southern-Belles-Handbook-LeBlancs/dp/0060540893">http://www.amazon.com/The-Southern-Belles-Handbook-LeBlancs/dp/0060540893</a></div>
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<span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-82578653794062742202014-05-10T15:58:00.000-07:002014-05-10T15:58:02.886-07:00Rule #17: THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK
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A lady doesn’t waste her time on bad memories. Rule <span class="s1">#17</span>: THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK</div>
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Buy THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK on Amazon: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Southern-Belles-Handbook-LeBlancs/dp/0060540893">http://www.amazon.com/The-Southern-Belles-Handbook-LeBlancs/dp/0060540893</a></div>
Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-11903397689175007022014-05-04T22:22:00.000-07:002014-05-04T22:22:12.903-07:00Rule #47: THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.200000762939453px;">A woman has to find out if there's life before death. Rule #47: </span><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7049869.The_Southern_Belle_s_Handbook" style="background-color: white; color: #666600; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.200000762939453px;" title="The Southern Belle's Handbook by Loraine Despres">The Southern Belle's Handbook</a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkLkkEjWTQStxRpjreouw2Cbtik6IDcU8X1gAF_vHAL98N1QQa1HRDAZfr6-KGLTJa1lcP6qoHwnKgRkK8IZbN6joFmHKiaxVCvpyVaNTVvExIrNjVl3i609rpitBf1ZDFIO8L9w/s1600/manandclouds.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkLkkEjWTQStxRpjreouw2Cbtik6IDcU8X1gAF_vHAL98N1QQa1HRDAZfr6-KGLTJa1lcP6qoHwnKgRkK8IZbN6joFmHKiaxVCvpyVaNTVvExIrNjVl3i609rpitBf1ZDFIO8L9w/s1600/manandclouds.jpg" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.200000762939453px;">Buy THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK on Amazon: </span><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Southern-Belles-Handbook-LeBlancs/dp/0060540893" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: white; color: #666600; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.200000762939453px;" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/The-Southern-Belles-Handbook-LeBlancs/dp/0060540893</a>Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-21657344275664506882014-04-29T15:12:00.001-07:002014-05-04T22:20:21.629-07:00Rule #49 THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOKA smart girl can't just sit on the porch and wait for her life to start.<br />
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Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-55257563797607864722014-04-24T19:37:00.000-07:002014-04-24T19:39:11.308-07:00Rule #100: THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK <br />
Letting go is the best revenge. It frees your heart for much more satisfying pursuits. Rule #100: THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK<br />
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Buy THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK on Amazon: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Southern-Belles-Handbook-LeBlancs/dp/0060540893">http://www.amazon.com/The-Southern-Belles-Handbook-LeBlancs/dp/0060540893</a></div>
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Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/SthrnBelleRules">@SthrnBelleRules</a></div>
<br />Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-57701635147116287582014-04-16T21:46:00.001-07:002014-04-24T19:18:28.610-07:00Rule #45: THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK<br />
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What men find sexy, women find uncomfortable. Rule #45: THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK<br />
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Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-42094518350110774792014-04-13T17:13:00.000-07:002014-04-13T17:13:39.286-07:00And The Dark Sacred Night<br /><div>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">I just finished reading Julie Glass' new novel <i>AND THE DARK SACRED NIGHT. </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Once again she dazzles us with her prose: “Behind her, from one end of the table to the other, lies a shadowy clutter of objects, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Dutch still life rendered suburban: three geraniums in off-season bloom, a tumbled stack of schoolbooks, a wineglass bearing a ghostly halo of milk, two yellow pencils (one stippled with tooth marks.)” </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">You know you’re in good hands with writing this fine. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Her characters are so beautifully drawn they seem to step out of the book into your life. I especially loved Lucinda who must take care of her politician husband on his first night home from the hospital after he's been crippled by a stroke. Readers of <i>THREE JUNES</i> and <i>THE WHOLE WORLD OVER</i> will welcome back old friends and learn what has become of them.</span></div>
Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-13109405737902295822014-04-07T13:14:00.000-07:002014-04-07T13:16:40.362-07:00THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK -Rule #56<br />
Rule #56: When you get to be a certain age you realize that the only thing you have time for is doing exactly what you want.<br />
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A delicious list of LA’s best chocolate shops. Treat yourself. You deserve it!<br />
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<a href="http://bit.ly/1mUzpBB">http://bit.ly/1mUzpBB</a><br />
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(Well Fed Studio) <br />
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Buy THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK: <a href="http://amzn.to/1kk6bfp">http://amzn.to/1kk6bfp</a><br />
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Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-36393081678959844192014-03-31T13:48:00.001-07:002014-04-25T11:35:11.658-07:00That Summer I Didn't Meet Ernest Hemingway -- Part Two<br />
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(Photo by Julio Ubiña)<br />
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<script async="" src="//assets.pinterest.com/js/pinit.js" type="text/javascript"></script> It was 1959 in Pamplona, Hemingway had gone on a picnic with a girl 40 years his junior, and we were going to the bullfights. This was the summer Dominguín and his brother-in-law Ordóñez were fighting mano a mano. Hemingway would describe their rivalry in Dangerous Summer. I don’t know whether I could enjoy a bullfight now, but in those days, we were mesmerized by his accounts in The <i>Sun Also Rises </i>and <i>Death in the Afternoon</i>.<br />
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I believe I was at the bullfights when I met two tall good-looking Englishmen in their early 20s, who were part of Hemingway’s entourage. They had perfectly ordinary English names like Richard and Gerald. But Gerald insisted his name was French and we call him “Gerá.” Obviously, I preferred Richard. They’d gone to Malaga to teach English, but on a visit to a friend of “Gera’s” parents, they saw a man with a white beard climb out of the pool. They ridiculed “Santa,” until they realized the man they were sneering at was Ernest Hemingway.<br />
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“I’m going to Pamplona tomorrow. Why don’t you boys come with me,” Ernest said and so they joined Papa’s youth entourage.<br />
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I needed a ride to Barcelona and a young American offered to give me a lift. He would leave early the next morning. And I would get a second chance to meet one of the greatest authors of the 20th century.<br />
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The Plaza del Castillo was empty in the cool at six the next morning. While I waited for my ride, Richard, who was going back to Malaga for his job at Berlitz, sat down with me and ordered a café con leche. Suddenly, Hemingway appeared, alone. Now’s my chance, I thought. His entourage is still asleep. I remember Richard standing, shaking hands, and thanking him. I sat up straight, waiting to be introduced.<br />
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I remember Hemingway asking Richard to stay and follow the bullfights with him. I remember smiling my prettiest smile. I remember the two men clasping hands. I remember Hemingway leaving.<br />
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“I was sitting right here. You didn’t introduce me!"<br />
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“Why?” Richard asked. “What did you want to say to him?”<br />
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Two years later, the same week the bulls ran in Pamplona, the world’s most admired writer, the winner of the 1954 Nobel Prize in Literature, walked out onto his porch in Ketchum, Idaho and put a bullet in his head.<br />
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There may have been a thousand people in Plaza del Castillo the summer I didn’t meet Ernest Hemingway. Today there are tens of thousands.<br />
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Here’s a link to what the fiesta of San Fermin has become: <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2013/07/photos-the-festival-of-san-fermin-2013/100553/">http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2013/07/photos-the-festival-of-san-fermin-2013/100553/</a><br />
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Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-70202310475438630632014-03-24T19:05:00.000-07:002014-03-24T19:05:39.177-07:00That Summer I Didn't Meet Ernest Hemingway -- Part One <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.sanfermin.com/files/Image/la-fiesta/hemingway/hemingway1959ubina.g.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.sanfermin.com/files/Image/la-fiesta/hemingway/hemingway1959ubina.g.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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(Photo: Paris Match, 1959) </div>
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The Kennedy Presidential Library recently received a trove
of photos of Ernest Hemingway’s last summer in Spain. I was in Spain that
summer. We were both in Pamplona for the running of the bulls. We sat in the
same plaza. We drank at the same cafe. And yet--<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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It was 1959 and I had just finished a glorious junior year
abroad, where I woke up every morning and said to myself, “I’m still young and
I’m still in Paris!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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When school let out my mother expected me to come home to
our leafy Chicago suburb, but that was the last place on earth I wanted to be
after the freedom of a student abroad. “I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">need
</i>to learn Spanish,” I wrote. There was a language school in Palma de
Majorca. In those days you didn't make transatlantic flights or calls
promiscuously<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dollar was strong.
Spain was cheap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mother gave a
reluctant okay. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m sure there were planes and trains, but what was the fun
of that? Someone told me about a girl who’d just graduated from Northwestern
and who was traveling in Spain. I met her and suggested we go together.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“I’m traveling with Ernest,” she said cooly. She didn’t need
to say his last name. She did not invite me to join them. I assumed they would
be alone. I was wrong.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I met a couple of girls at the American Express Office in
Paris, who had a car and wanted someone to share the expenses. We drove down
the coast of France and found a little hotel in San Sebastian. It was there we
heard about the Festival of San Fermin—the fiesta Hemingway wrote about in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Sun Also Rises</i>. The next morning I
bought a copy of the book and we drove to Pamplona.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It was hot and dusty, but the Plaza del Castillo was filled
with young people from all over the world. The excitement was palpable. I did
something you only do when you’re young and on an adventure. I said, “I’m
staying.” The girls agreed to bring my things the next day, but I didn’t even
have a place to sleep, where they could drop off my suitcase.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I saw Hemingway a few tables away, but he was surrounded and
I was shy. My first failed chance to meet the great writer wouldn’t happen
until the next day, thanks to a student from Stanford named Robby, who had just
arrived and was set on running with the bulls the next morning. These are the
fighting bulls they ran through the streets to the bullring. I didn’t know
much, but I did know men were gored every year.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Why don’t you watch the bulls tomorrow and run with them
the next day?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This seemed sensible to
me, but Robby was set on running the next morning at 7am. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We stayed up all night, drinking raw red Spanish wine in the
darkened plaza. I didn’t have a hotel room and Robby was too gallant to leave
me alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Around 6 am he asked me to
keep his passport, tickets home, and traveler’s checks. Then he headed to the
place where the runners congregated. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I went to the bullring to watch. This is what I remember.
The first bunch of men loped into the ring, followed by men running faster and
faster, then sprinting as the bulls came through the tunnel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After them came another group of lopers
followed by runners going faster and faster, then sprinting. I spotted Robby
sprinting into the ring, saw him stop, and turn. And then I watched with horror
as he ran against the crowd, back through the tunnel just as the bulls were
entering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My heart was pounding as I
waited. He never returned.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I went back to our table in the plaza. The smell of café con
leche and sugary churros, filled the air, but I couldn’t eat. The girls I had
been traveling with must have found me there, because I had my suitcase when I
left Pamplona, but I have no memory of seeing them again. I don’t remember
anything except feeling sick with dread and not knowing what to do. I thought I
should search the hospitals, but what hospitals and where were they? I knew no
Spanish. No police were in sight. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Hemingway arrived around noon with his entourage, laughing,
joking, and ordering wine and Cuba Libres. I told myself I should break in to
their revelry and tell them about Robby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Surely, they’d know what to do. But just as I was working up the
courage, Robby arrived, looking pale and near tears. “I lost my passport, my
ticket home, and all my traveler’s checks,” he said. “I’ve been to the police
and retraced my route, but—.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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I took his passport, ticket, and traveler’s checks out of my
purse and handed them to him. In the excitement of running with the bulls, he’d
forgotten he’d given them to me. He stood in the square, raised his wineskin,
and poured red wine over his head. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Just then Ernest Hemingway got up from his table. Robby
skipped over and asked him to join us for a drink. I was close enough to hear
Hemingway thank him, but say with a sparkle in his eye, “I’m going on a picnic
with her.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I thought he pointed to the girl from Northwestern, but it
could have been 19-year-old Valerie Danby-Smith, the girl with the creamy
complexion and wild dark hair, who became his secretary, married his son, and
in 2004 wrote her memoir <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Running with the
Bulls</i>. Whoever she was, he seemed as excited as a teenage boy on a first
date.</div>
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I would get another chance to almost meet him the next
morning.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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TO BE CONTINUED…</div>
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Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-28842717207551083522013-02-28T23:07:00.000-08:002013-02-28T23:07:57.474-08:00If You've Got It, Flaunt it"If you've got it, flaunt it -- within reason. Too much Southern Exposure will get his attention, but-- lose his respect." Rule #64<br />
<br />
At least that's what the <i>Southern Belle's Handbook, Sissy</i> <i>LeBlanc's Rules to Live By</i> says. But if you have another ending for this rule let me know.<i> </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Finally <i>The Southern Belle's Handbook </i>has become available for download to your Kindle, Nook, or iPad or smart phone.<a href="http://www.lorainedespres.com/">www.LoraineDespres.com</a><br />
<br />
<br />Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-52018797301019456542013-02-19T14:58:00.001-08:002013-02-19T14:58:47.914-08:00What Would a Southern Belle Do?A Southern Belle doesn't have to give into temptation, but--<br />
<br />
How would you finish this?Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-63209891709437947842013-02-16T15:03:00.000-08:002013-02-16T15:03:19.401-08:00Wonderful ReadersI have the most wonderful readers. <br />
<br />
Kathy Stewart wrote me this a while back:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><b>Dear Loraine ,</b></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><b>I have read all 3 of your books in the past 2 weeks ( checked out from Library ) , and loved them so much that I hated when I read the last written word ! I am now a Fan of yours . I am looking forward to reading your next book . Do you have one in the works ? If so , when should it release ?</b></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial;"></span> </b></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><b>From a Georgia Girl , Southern drawl and all ,</b></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><b>Kathy Stewart</b></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;">And when I asked if I had her permission to post her email she responded:</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.600000381469727px;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;">I'm asking God to be right there with you while you are working on your next novel . He knows your gift of writing </span><span style="font-size: small;">that He blessed you with.</span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.600000381469727px;">
<b><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times;">Writers always hope they will be able to move readers. So thank you Kathy. </span></div>
<div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Times;"><i>The Southern Belle's Handbook </i>has been difficult to find in bookstores but I'm happy to let you know that it's finally available for download at Amazon.com and Barnesandnoble.com.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: verdana, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13.600000381469727px;">
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Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-42132351467666761292013-01-29T15:31:00.000-08:002013-01-29T15:31:13.026-08:00More Rules from the Southern Belle<h2>
<b>THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF MEN</b></h2>
The ones who are interested in you and the rest. The second kind are so misguided, they're not worth your time. Because if a man doesn't have the sense to appreciate you, he obviously doesn't have any sense at all. <i>Rule #71</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Never marry a man too stupid for you. He'll spend the rest of your life getting even. <i>Rule</i> <i>#43</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<h2>
<b>HOW TO KEEP A MAN HAPPY</b></h2>
Forget his stomach. The surest way to keep a man happy is to become his cheerleader. <i>Rule #33</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Men fantasize about being a knight and rescuing a maiden in distress. Encourage this. It's a good thing. There's no reason for you ever to struggle pushing a heavy bag into an overhead compartment. Ask him to do something easy for you and thank him sweetly. He'll feel great about himself -- and you. <i>Rule #48</i><br />
<h3>
Starting today you can download the <i>Southern Belle's Handbook</i> for you Kindle, Nook, iPad, Tablet, or Smart Phone. </h3>
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-36283654471020098852013-01-23T20:20:00.000-08:002013-01-23T20:20:07.092-08:00Southern Belle Rules<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUPbdN9zuKBfEqCQjeJ2JvmHD2S8FZO3FwmMEaFnSXki3DWOjcVgTA0gHdwXRvYbI86OdUNlV9oQ0XdBNFHLCloKdxUQLzAL4T5tqn2U5Kt33-e0AxoOu-PeuXegS0b13h1-H2KQ/s1600/Picture.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUPbdN9zuKBfEqCQjeJ2JvmHD2S8FZO3FwmMEaFnSXki3DWOjcVgTA0gHdwXRvYbI86OdUNlV9oQ0XdBNFHLCloKdxUQLzAL4T5tqn2U5Kt33-e0AxoOu-PeuXegS0b13h1-H2KQ/s320/Picture.jpg" width="296" /></a></div>
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<b>ATTRACTING MEN IS EASY</b><span class="s1"><b> </b></span></div>
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<b>How to Make Conversation: </b></div>
<div class="p3">
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Men always find themselves the most fascinating subject of any conversation. When in doubt, let him talk about himself. He’ll think you’re a brilliant conversationalist.<i> Rule Number 11</i></div>
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Laugh at his wit, and he’ll admire your sense of humor. <i>Rule Number 13</i></div>
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Let him know you think he’s intelligent and he’ll be awed by your perspicacity, even if he can’t pronounce the word. <i>Rule Number 15</i></div>
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<b>How to Get His Attention at a Party:</b></div>
<div class="p3">
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<div class="p4">
Look at him over your shoulder or up at him through your eyelashes, and he’ll salivate like a Pavlovian dog. Pat the seat next to you and he’ll come bounding across the room. It’s usually ok, to let him sit on the furniture. <i>Rule Number 5</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<b><i>The Southern Belle's Handbook </i>will be available for download January 29.</b></div>
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<span id="goog_407844999"></span><span id="goog_407845000"></span><br /></div>
Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-1349618587453956532013-01-16T15:37:00.000-08:002013-01-16T15:37:38.543-08:00It's Ok for a Woman to Know Her Place. She Just Shouldn't Stay There.<div>
That's Rule #48 in THE SOUTHERN BELLE'S HANDBOOK, Sissy LeBlanc's Rules to Live By. </div>
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This witty little book includes Sissy's secrets on: How to attract a man, How to keep him happy. And How to tell if he's good enough for you. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
And now the Handbook will finally be available to download on January 29 at Barnesandnoble.com, Amazon, and independent bookstores: <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"> </span><a href="http://www.dieselbookstore.com/search/kobo/loraine%20despres" style="background-color: white; color: #1155cc; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;" target="_blank">http://www.<wbr></wbr>dieselbookstore.com/search/<wbr></wbr>kobo/loraine despres</a> </div>
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Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-14411291451062889032013-01-05T18:08:00.000-08:002013-01-05T18:08:04.736-08:00Of Course I Gained Weight Over the Holidays, Didn't You?<b>Rule # 5: Living a good life is more important than shedding a few pounds.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
What are holidays for if not for feasting with friends? <br />
<b><br /></b>
We had company on New Year's Day for black-eyed peas, rice, cabbage, ham, cornbread, and chocolate pie. I love my own cooking, especially Southern country cooking, and I managed to gain 3.5 pounds. <br />
<br />
When I got on the scale the next morning, I knew I had to pay attention. <br />
<br />
I doubled down on vegetables and logged everything I put in my mouth. I ate nothing I didn't love. And although I didn't go to the gym, I tried to exercise every day, either walking or jogging on the elliptical trainer. <br />
<br />
I have a theory about exercise. It's not exactly calories in and calories out, but perhaps our bodies are better able to consume the calories if we get moving. <br />
<br />
I lost 2 pounds already. But tonight we're going to a sushi restaurant. Opps.<br />
<br />
So I'm trying to lose in public. I'll keep you posted and I welcome you to post with me.Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-91147371321355412392012-12-20T20:25:00.001-08:002012-12-20T20:34:33.638-08:00Rule #2 Better in the Garbage than On My HipsIn August 2011 my weight was down to 146. I wanted to find out how low I could go, so I joined losit.com and started keeping track of what I ate and how much I exercised. I chose loseit.com because I'd heard of it, but there are other sites MyFitnessPal, etc.<br />
<br />
Using a database taught me that walnuts (my go-to snack) were a lot more fattening that almonds (my new go-to snack.) Also cheese, which I love, is more fattening than hummus for an afternoon pick me up. I like hummus, too, but I still eat cheese, maybe not so much.<br />
<br />
Since I could only eat a limited amount of food, I decided I could to be picky. Very picky. Now, if something is not up to my gourmet standards, into the garbage it goes. Things I threw away: cookies with only one bite out of them, inferior chocolate candy, frozen pasta, mushy apples. <b>In our land of plenty: throwing away food is no longer a sin it's a necessity, </b>no matter what your mama told you.<br />
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<br />Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-14491691971422773022012-12-19T14:12:00.000-08:002012-12-19T14:12:02.993-08:00How to Lose Weight without Suffering #1<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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RULE #1 <b>Eat whatever
the hell you want…<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Just not everything
you want.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I lost ten percent of my body weight and have kept it off
for over a year without pain, without “dieting,” without combining stupid foods.
Southern Belles don’t suffer on purpose.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It all started on June 15, 2011, but I didn’t know it, I thought
I was just going to spend a month in Europe.
At the time I <i>said</i> I weighed
150. It was more often 152, 153, but I
didn’t want to be petty. I also said, my weight fluctuated between 152 and 147. (The only time I hit 147 was when I had the
flu.) But I thought I looked OK and at
5’4”, I wasn’t unhealthy. Five pounds
overweight, according to the CDC, but what’s 5 pounds? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In London I joined my cousin who was going through a divorce
and had lost 60 pounds on the misery diet. Misery aside, she looked great and
was determined not to stay that way.
We walked everywhere. She ran and
swam. I just walked. She cut out sugars, starches, and breakfast.
I ate breakfast and bread, but I wasn’t going to pig out on cookies around
her. Still we ate in restaurants almost
every night and sometimes at lunch. She counted calories, I was just aware that I didn't want to overeat. "I didn't eat <i>everything</i> I wanted."<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I got home on July 15, 2011 I weighed 148. A month later, I weighed 146 without
suffering. That’s when I decided to get serious and see how much I could
lose while living my life. My goal was 130. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my next posts I’ll let you know how I did
it and some easy rules that I follow.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-12479566283173135242012-12-12T13:43:00.000-08:002012-12-12T13:43:27.502-08:00The Dallas Decoder Asked Me How Should J.R. DieSo sorry to hear about Larry Hagman's passing. He was a lovely guy, funny and generous and JR, the character David Jacobs created which Larry so ably brought to life, will go down in the annuals of pop culture history. He became the archtypal villain you loved to hate. <br />
<br />
A few days ago <b>The Dallas Decoder</b> contacted me and asked: How should J.R. die? I said he should die as he lived, shot by a jealous husband. <a href="http://dallasdecoder.com/2012/12/12/dallas-decoder-asks-how-should-j-r-die/">http://dallasdecoder.com/2012/12/12/dallas-decoder-asks-how-should-j-r-die/</a>Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-25633221494306194592012-04-06T15:44:00.000-07:002012-04-06T15:44:14.856-07:00HOW TO NAVIGATE HEALTH CARE IN AMERICA –DAY 2<br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Thursday night</b> Carl’s
mother fell and broke two bones in her wrist.
She spent six and a half hours in the ER. <b>Friday
morning</b> we call the orthopedic surgeon the hospital recommended. The person answering the phone said we could
have an appointment. <b>In three days</b>. THREE DAYS! </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Now my
mother-in-law is in pain with only a soft cast and we don’t know what to do, we don't know how to bath her, we know nothing about physical therapy, and if she falls on the soft cast, she may break
the bone again. </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: x-small;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Zapfino;">Something positive</span>:
the doctors at this hospital are able to access the hospital x-rays on their
computers. Half an hour later the receptionist
called back and said, “Ouch,” and gave us an appointment for that
afternoon. The orthopedist reset her arm
and created a hard cast in half an hour instead of the six and a half hours in
the ER. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I asked the nurse for referral to a service to help her get
back in her home. The orthopedic nurse claimed she’d never been asked for that before, but found three brochures. The surgeon didn’t like any of these agencies
and scribbled a note for one he liked, but neither he nor the agency told me
how to access their services. Now it's Friday evening.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We took my mother-in-law back into our cramped guest
room. Her hand was turning blue. The doctor had said it would swell and become
blue, but how blue? Should we worry? And if so where do we take her? It’s Friday night. Do we go back for another 61/2 hours in the ER? The possibility brought her to tears. We applied ice to the cast and the swelling went down a
bit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Saturday: </b> We spent the day trying to navigate the
system. This is what we learned.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Check insurance
coverage</b>. She has Medicare and
AARP. AARP said she had the “best
policy” and would cover what Medicare didn’t but didn’t tell us how to get any medicare services. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Find a doctor. </b> It’s Saturday. Her private doctor was out of his
office. At three o'clock the wonderful
doctor covering for him called back and said the <b><span style="font-family: Zapfino;">magic words</span></b>,<span style="font-family: Zapfino;"> </span><b>“I’ll write a
prescription for a service and if they don’t call within three hours, call me
back.” </b> At six o'clock Saturday evening we had a service.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sunday morning a nurse came to the house, ordered a physical therapist, and said she could go back to her own apartment. Monday morning, we were there along with the
housekeeper she loves, who offered to spend the night with her for the next week. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everything was perfect until the physical therapist arrived,
took one look at her blue, swollen hand and said he couldn’t do anything. She needed immediate medical care and we found ourselves in of <b>health care hell </b>once again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
TO BE CONTINUED<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-20830349698474148852012-04-01T18:00:00.000-07:002012-04-01T18:00:36.875-07:00<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Zapfino;">America. The
Best Healthcare?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Thursday night my elderly
mother-in-law fell and broke her wrist.
She called 911 and the paramedics took her to one of the major hospitals
in Los Angeles. We were at the theater.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: Zapfino;">Fortunately</span></b><b> a friend in her building happened by and
saw her on the floor and called our house.
</b><b><span style="font-family: Zapfino;">Fortunately</span>, we had a houseguest staying in our guest room. </b><b><span style="font-family: Zapfino;">Fortunately</span> the friend was home. </b><b><span style="font-family: Zapfino;">Fortunately
</span>we saw the message at intermission and sped to the hospital. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Otherwise, they might
well have sent her home in a taxi, drugged, confused, and very unsteady on her
feet, with no support at all.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>When we arrived
around 8:30, she had been there for two hours, confused and in pain. They had x-rayed the arm, wrapped it in a
soft cast, hung her fingers unwrapped in wire hangers to let the arm set and
pumped her full of pain medication. Six
hours later, around 12:30 they took some more x-rays and said we could take her
home with a prescription for pain pills she was to take every 6 hours and a
referral to an orthopedist. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I asked for a social
worker or case manager so we could get home health services. “Don’t have anything like that,” the nurse
told me. “No discharge planner?”<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b> “No.”</b><b>(The hospital
actually has a home health department with an emergency number. We found that out two days later from their
website.)</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>I asked the ER doctor,
“What do we do with her?”<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Her answer did not
include “I’ll write you a prescription for a visiting nurse to evaluate
her.” Her answer was, “She’ll have to go
home with one of you.”<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>(Note: they did not even give us one extra pain pill that she could take at 6am. Instead, my husband had to drive from 1:30am to 2:15 in search of an all night pharmacy. </b><b><span style="font-family: Zapfino;">Fortunately </span>I was at the house and could take care of
her, while he was gone.)<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt;">TO BE CONTINUED:</span></b><!--EndFragment-->Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16227495.post-13689009366442498122012-03-25T16:40:00.001-07:002012-03-25T16:43:55.163-07:00WriteGirl Creates Music<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjwEddH_CxH97NuK1HWm6_9v4zthSWEZ8AvwHv6kWmgkyObdKf4kQwe1RYJ26pCsI4Y9DIzIB9W354wCMtf1tZ-3u4m6dpACjh3uwC7I-6X7mReU9cODfr9lFN8B7HZxF2AgC0uw/s1600/IMG_0311-001.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjwEddH_CxH97NuK1HWm6_9v4zthSWEZ8AvwHv6kWmgkyObdKf4kQwe1RYJ26pCsI4Y9DIzIB9W354wCMtf1tZ-3u4m6dpACjh3uwC7I-6X7mReU9cODfr9lFN8B7HZxF2AgC0uw/s320/IMG_0311-001.jpg" style="clear: both; float: left; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0;" /></a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8Yfs9fZOqzftVEWOcEsmnK6sD6Wz2_c9BfQmb5BnqrUlVybF8CKEf2liDDHXKXau0oBaqZq0m8m3ufk8RPNvU-nf3D8JiQ_vbgjv9k770itDD6Sc4BNqt0DpkqVlUCG9J5QlF6Q/s1600/IMG_0303.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8Yfs9fZOqzftVEWOcEsmnK6sD6Wz2_c9BfQmb5BnqrUlVybF8CKEf2liDDHXKXau0oBaqZq0m8m3ufk8RPNvU-nf3D8JiQ_vbgjv9k770itDD6Sc4BNqt0DpkqVlUCG9J5QlF6Q/s320/IMG_0303.jpg" style="clear: both; float: left; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 10px; margin-top: 0px;" /></a><br />
You can't write all the time. One of my other favorite activities is acting as a mentor for a beautiful high school girl, Cree Nixon. There's a photo of her at the Grammy Museum.<br />
<br />
<br />
I met her through WriteGirl, a nonprofit which links high school girls with professional writers. Although almost half the students in the Los Angeles Public Schools drop out, 100% of the girls in WriteGirl go to college, most of them with scholarships. Their slogan: Never underestimate the power of a girl and her pen.<br />
<br />
Every month WriteGirl holds workshops in different genres. Yesterday we went to the Grammy Museum where the girls learned the basics of writing lyrics. At the end of the day, a group of professional songwriters put each of the lyrics to music.<br />
<br />
So much fun.<br />
<div style="clear: both; text-align: LEFT;">
<a href="http://picasa.google.com/blogger/" target="ext"><img align="middle" alt="Posted by Picasa" border="0" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/pbp.gif" style="-moz-background-clip: initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: initial; -moz-background-origin: initial; background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 50%; border: 0px none; padding: 0px;" /></a></div>Loraine Despreshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06744767063342722938noreply@blogger.com0